As we visited the orphanage on Tuesday I was very unsure of how it would go. I felt very much outside my comfort zone. When we arrived, the children sang a few songs for us and then they broke up and filtered through our group. I was standing toward the back not sure what to do next.
At that point, I looked down and a small child, probably no more than three, was standing at my feet with his arms stretched up for me to pick him up. I hesitated at that moment because he had visible sores, a running nose, and a bad cough. Our host Jeff had warned us that some of the children were sick and that it was OK for us to be "selective" in who we interacted with. I was embarrassed that I hesitated for that reason, but I did.
I shared with our group later that at the moment of hesitation, God placed a portion Mathew 25:40 on my heart. What I heard was "the least of these" where Jesus said that whatever you do to one of the least of these my brothers, you do also unto me. At that point I picked this child up (I learned later his name was Estafano). From that point on I had him for the duration of our visit. It was clear he did not feel well and just wanted to be held. We played together and later one of the staff took him from me to go get his food. I spent a few minutes with several of the other kids and then Estafano appeared at my side again with a plate of food in his hands. I heard later from several of our group members that he came out of the kitchen searching for me. We sat down and I fed Estafano. I noticed that each spoonful he would "kiss" the food before I put it into his mouth. Occasionally he would point to my lips before he did this but I was unsure what he wanted.
To the side nearby was a group of larger boys, probably 10 - 11 years old. They had stayed back from the rest of the group but one of the boys was keeping a close eye on me. In a while he came up to me and Estafano and I learned that they were brothers. Estafano's brother took the spoon from me and filled it, then blew on it (as if cooling it) and fed it to his brother. The food was stone cold but somewhere in these children's past, someone had blown on their food to cool it before spooning it to them.
When we finished feeding Estafano, the brother (Marcus) stayed with me and wanted to play some games. He showed me several and as we played, more of the older children gathered around. Before long we had a large group of the older children gathered around us and playing. I don't think the older kids get as much attention from "Blancs" (that is what they call us - whites). But we had a great time as a group playing games for the remainder of the visit.
I shared this story with the group in one of our daily devotions because my hesitation was natural - but what a joy and blessing I would have missed if I had made the decision not to pick up Estafano. God did not call us to come to Haiti to "fix" Haiti, or build a church or a bath house - he simply called us to come. God can accomplish much through us if only we take that first step of faith in obedience to his call. That act of obedience blesses God and He in turn blesses us. During that devotion time I told the youth in our group that they will make many important decisions in the next five to ten years of their life, and these decisions will set the course for their future. I wanted them to remember this trip and how God blesses us in our obedience.
I was blessed in my "Estafano moment" because I set aside my personal concerns and fears and responded to God's urging and the simple need of a sick little child to be held. I may never know the impact that had on others but I know it is a moment I will never forget. And it is a daily reminder to me to make the obedient choice whenever I feel a moment of hesitation. The blessing is ours to receive.
Jody Watts
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